Questions
Common questions.
Short, straight answers. Nothing here is small print.
What is Don’t Settle, Darling?
A private way for two people to see how their lives fit. You each answer the same questions on your own. Then, only if you both agree, you see first impressions, and if you both want to go further, a map of where your lives fit, where they differ, and what's worth talking about.
Is it a dating app?
No. There's no browsing, swiping or searching for people. Your profile is only ever compared with someone who has one of your invite links.
Is it free?
Yes, and it always will be. There are no ads and no paid tiers, and your data is never sold, shared or used to train anything.
How long does it take?
About 4 minutes for Quick Fit (15 questions). Deep Fit adds about 10 minutes of questions on marriage, children, money, family and conflict, and everything you've already answered carries over.
Do I need an account or an email address?
No. When you create your profile you get a private key instead. The device you used remembers you, and the key opens your profile anywhere else. We never ask for your email.
Who sees my answers?
Only you. The person you compare with never sees your answers, only a shared read written about the two of you, plus any parts of your profile summary you choose to show them.
How does a comparison work?
You send a private invite link and the other person answers on their own, or uses the profile they already have. When you've both tapped “See first impressions”, you both get a warm first read with no personal details. The more personal map opens only if you both choose to see the details. Either of you can choose “Not for us” instead, which ends the comparison and deletes it for both of you.
Does it give a compatibility score?
No. There are no scores, percentages or rankings. You get a plain-language read of where you fit naturally, where you're different, what may take adapting, what's worth talking about, and any possible dealbreakers.
How does it decide how two people fit?
Each area compares each person's needs with how the other person naturally is, in both directions. The weaker direction decides. Swapping the two people mirrors the result exactly, and this is tested.
Is it based on research?
The areas it asks about come from relationship research: 98 published studies, each checked against its source. The questionnaire itself hasn't been independently validated yet, and the research page says exactly where the evidence is strong and where it's thin.
The researchCan I compare with more than one person?
Yes. Your profile is reusable, so you never answer twice. Each comparison is separate and private to its two people, and nobody can see who else you've compared with.
What if I lose my private key?
If a device still remembers you, open your profile and make a new key. Otherwise the profile can't be recovered, because we don't know who you are. Unused profiles are deleted automatically after 12 months.
How do I delete my data?
Open your profile and choose “Delete my profile”. Your answers, your invite links and every comparison you're part of are removed immediately.
Privacy